So I just got back from ophb (ontario provincial honour band) and I'm ACTUALLY missing it. My memory of of the week goes like this:

And here I am!!! You know, I never knew you could make such good friends in just three days and I'm so glad I went. It's exactly the same way I felt about MBTL.  Even though I may go back to school and seem like a loner at times, I can always text my music buddies.  =D
A busy week gone and another busier week to come.  Now that I think about it, my life is probably more interesting than that of most teenagers nowadays.

Found another piece written when I was 13, it's like treasure hunting. But it seems so foreign, I have no memory of constructing these words.
 

Try to fill up something when it’s empty

Frantic search of things to fulfill

What is not fulfilled

It isn’t pain;

It isn’t suffering;

It’s just plain hollowness

How does it feel

When the wind is never sympathetic enough

To cease its icy blow at the corpse of your spirits?

When one is vain,

At least one has something to be vain about

Be able to feel the warmth of satisfaction

If given a choice

What would you choose

Between pride and disappointment?

All blades cut

Leave the same cut

            The same pain

What the heck? Well, I didn't expect to get Kira.  Thought I was gonna get Watari. This is..... a rather interesting birthday treat, Kat, haha.   But thank you anyways!
 

If you were wondering, this drama also contributed in urging me to write about money.
Zeni Geba is an old story, but this time it is astonishingly dark on screen.  (Kenichi did an excellent job) To me, it's not just a tragedy that makes you cry a few times but your heart literally aches from it. 

I winced when I saw that Hiroko died because Futaro tried to help her have a good life.  She was like a real reincarnation of his mother. Yet even when he had the financial status to change her life he couldn't give her happiness, instead his good intentions caused her death. What choked me even more was the last episode where Futaro stares hard at the word "happiness" that he'd long scratched on the wall and imagines how happiness would have been like. He sits there,  imagining that if his father wasn't a drunkard, if they had the money for his mother's surgery, if he'd gotten into the same university with Kane. If only Kane didn't have a distorted cheek, if her father accepted him, if he married her and had a child with her, if he had his own family...  If he could proudly reject the love of his life, Minori.... If he'd been a best friend with the boy who committed suicide because of him, if he always ate at the cheap seafood restaurant that never had customers and been a friend to the family there.... *BOOM*  Minori sobs.  Everything's over. He still never had the happiness he'd worked for his whole life.

But Futaro foretells that there will be many born just like him, and will be just like him. Slaves of money.   

 

Money. Don't look away. I've long been looking to write an entry about it. For an unknown reason I feel the need to redefine the power of money. Its good magic and magic that leads to destruction; its power to manipulate.  Does it have a mind?

People often ask, why can a piece of paper can change a person so much? Well, it's not just a piece of paper but the truth doesn't lie here.
In its own history, money has come in many forms, thus it isn't money itself that changes people, but the identity that people have given it.  Since its invention, money has been a permit. It permits us to get what we want.  A man works hard to gain it because it is a permit for him to get an apple, and the farmer gives him an apple in exchange for the money because it can grant him what he wants from someone else.

Before any kind of currency was created, people traded their own goods with each other.  However, some discovered they couldn't get what they want simply by what they have because their trade partner wouldn't need it.  Other problems existed as well. Money was created as goods that can trade for any other goods and services.  It solved many problems and opened many trade paths but people started changing its value. Can money save lives? Can money kill someone? No, it's the people who do those things, but now it has become the phenomena.

"Some people will do ANYTHING for money." 
"They are forced by the ways of this world."

Can you imagine a world without money? The sun would still rise next day.  We will still have everything we need. (Making money kills trees too.)  But if we can't even imagine a world without logos, this is ludicrous.  Why was Kira wrong in killing people who have sinned? He wasn't wrong in wanting to create a world of only justice and kindness.  What he doesn't understand is that everyone is born with many sides.  A murderer could have done many kind things during his life, and a benefactor may have ruined someone else's life. The only way you can eliminate corruption and malevolence is by destroying the whole race, but you will also eliminate all the love and compassion.  This might seem irrelevant but it all connects one way or the other, think about it.
 

Hmm... it's exactly a week until my birthday.  Is sixteen really sweet? Social expectations, decisions on career/path/life incoming...  at least this year's going to be full of music stuff! (with honour band and possibly toronto wind orchestra, and might go back to mbtl...and of course nationls)

Now there's this pressure of making this supposedly the best year of my teenage life.  Do people change a lot when they turn 16? Do unexpected things really happen? Am I being teen-ie? ewwwww.... *mental slap* ok back to myself
 

um ya... just had to write about this a week earlier.... hehe XD

LOL I've done the same kind of quiz before, just without HP characters. Got the exact same result : INFP lol.

I am the following...

• Lover
  Quest: To gain bliss.
  Fear: Loss of love.
  Dragon: Will love it.
  Task: To follow bliss.
  Virtue: Passion and commitment.

• Seeker
  Quest: To search for a better life.
  Fear: Conformity.
  Dragon: Will flee from it.
  Task: To be true to the deeper self.
  Virtue: Autonomy and ambition.
  Creator
  Quest: To gain identity.
  Fear: Of being illusionary.
  Dragon: will claim it as part of oneself.
  Task: To self-create and self-accept.
  Virtue: Individuality and vocation.

http://www.physics.adelaide.edu.au/~iborchar/Arcane/heroes.html   taken from second_flight 

 

Some friends are dreams that you never catch. For a period of time they'll do so much for you and then because they're so different from you, you start to distance away from each other.  What's comforting is that you'll always be a friend to them, and they'll always be ready to help and understand you. Some friends are the exact opposite. They are the ones who hold onto you.  They are convinced that their bond with you is unique and that you are simply different from other people. They believe they are as important to you as you are to them.

Friendship is a human connection that is even more complex than love, in my opinion. 

It is a shame to say that for the year I'd been learning and practicing these Baroque and Classic pieces  I didn't know what they were about, or what stories they told. My attention had been solely on the early 20th century pieces and I have forgotten about Bach and Haydn. These works were just known as a Sonata in E minor or Haydn sonata or simply a Prelude in C# major.  Being a 90's kid, it'd probably be normal for Modern works to be appealing to me but that isn't always the case. The first time I heard Prelude and Fugue in C, I was drawn by it, and my interest hasn’t died even now.One thing I like about myself was that I pick pieces that sounded sophisticated and not by their technical requirement. 

Today I went for my first accompaniment rehearsal with my accompanist.  Surprisingly, I discovered only after that he's the concert pianist I'd seen perform two years ago. Because I'd been able to hear the wrong harmonies he played, he promised a free lesson in return.　

So later in the evening, he gave me a lesson and told me about the story of Prelude in C minor. Because Bach had been composing church music his whole life (I knew that too), his whole Well Tempered Clavier is based on stories from the bible. The first prelude was of peace in heaven, and true bliss while the second one was planned to be contrasting. I call it final judgment.  The music narrated a day where the human race, the living and the dead are judged for the last time whether they’re worthy of being sent into the blissful heaven or down below. The fuga outlined a series of questioning. “Heaven or hell?”   This is where everything we’ve learned about subjects and countersubjects come in. It’s a basic setting of question and answer and discussion. 

The odd thing was, only when I listened to my accompanist play the piece could I imagine the scene. He wasn’t playing the piece the way my teacher had instructed; his technicality was nowhere near perfectly accurate; his style contradicted the traditional method but it was genuinely moving. It really moved me.  Then it struck me that I can’t learn to play a piece by listening to how professionals play. I can’t depend on traditional methods.  On top of all the notes and the rhythms I need first comprehend the story behind the music and then use my own way of expressing it. Indeed, there’s no right or wrong in music, there’s only appealing musicality. Rules are constantly broken by other rules.  

During our lesson, my accompanist asked me if I were considering a serious music career. I meekly said that I didn’t know if I’m good enough. In return, he said, if you’re given a certain gift or talent you should use it instead of dismissing it as waste. Even though this isn’t the first time a teacher has said that to me, it still has me thinking for a long time. 

Chiro jumped at the shriek of the phone. The sound pierced through the tranquil yet tense atmosphere. She knew then what it meant; she had to make a choice.   She reached over and picked up the phone.

“How is everything?” The familiar voice inquired after a short pause. It was more of an act of assurance than greeting. He was speaking in his soft low tone as usual.

“Ready,” she gave an expected answer, “What about you? Are you coming?”

“Not now. I still have some unfinished business in this city, but I’m not going to take long. I wouldn’t want to stay any longer than I have to.”  The voice returned. His name was Kay. He and Chiro shared a steady relationship for a long time. Their time together was spent reading Matsumoto books and nibbling on mochi together.   A few weeks ago he still went to work everyday at a bar with her in his uniform and name tag. The days passed effortlessly and they managed an adequate life in Shibuya, a little place in Tokyo with fashion centres and fancy city lights.

It never occurred to Chiro that she’d never really known him.  In fact, she’d taken pride from the kind of emotional bond that formed naturally between them.  She was the only one who understood his thoughts and feelings and she was certain that mutual intuition was the last thing they lacked. At the same time, she believed that Kay’s past, however intertwined, didn’t matter as long as he cherished their connection and looked ahead in life. However, she became less sure of her assumption when she came to find something that she couldn’t quite understand.

Yay I'm the first one to download the first dl link for the last episode of Majo Saiban(The Witch Trial) that came out. Lol, I was so enthusiastic I kept refreshing the page and I think I downloaded it only a minute after it was posted.  Anyways, now I've got all the full show on my Ipod.

Maybe because there was only one case involved, the 10epi dorama moved quite slowly ,but the ending wasn't bad actually.  From the beginning I was sure there was something about the daughter.  From her super long dark hair let down and apathetic attitude to her mysterious smiles, I'd thought she was the real majo rather than her mother.  However, the twist at the ending still caught me off guard.  So the acclaimed Majo really was the Majo. Regardless of the fact that she did kill her husband, was she really so low as to kill for the inheritance?  I would've thought that she had more self pride than that.

My next j-dorama MR. BRAIN! omg, the 1st epi was SO AWESOME. Can't wait to watch the 2nd epi tomorrow.

I'm not one who dreams on a regular basis. That's one thing that makes my life easier because I wake up to a fresh new day and think only about what's coming next instead of what happened a few hours ago in my subconsciousness. But when it occurs to me that I have dreamt, the dream itself will be a pest for perhaps a week. Because I dream so little, it hasn't been difficult for me to notice the pattern of my nightly encounters.